by Trine Nebel
You think you have a choice. You don't. And Christian Tage knows that very well. But we both play our roles. Me as the new golfer, who has returned home and is fresh from golf college and is looking for a suitable local golf club. Christian as the director, who understands your considerations. He is therefore happy to show you around the club - and give a few free rounds before the big decision has to be made. That was all that was missing...
Deep down we both know that it doesn't matter. The emotional center of the primitive brain, which has no capacity for rationality, HAS long since made up its mind, and then, as you know, there is not much to do. But we both pretend. After the symbolic tour – of course in brilliant sunshine, blue skies and 26 degree heat – the tour is topped off with a couple of red deer, some iced coffee on the club's terrace and a 9-hole practice round with the beautiful Mrs. Lise Gulmann from the club's introductory committee; “Would you like to borrow some equipment to get started with…?”
And so it goes. Two weeks later, the arm is swollen due to regular overexertion. Of course, there is a cure for that. Mrs. Birgit Peitersen, who hardly requires a closer introduction and who contributes to the introduction committee, brings crucial experience to the table. how-to-not-lose-courage-even-if-your-elbow-is-inflamed-and-swollen: “Remember Trine that 15 cm and 150 meters cost the same, so you just practice putting and the short approach until your arm looks like an arm again – that’s what I do myself when I overplayed", explains Mrs. Peitersen. Who would think of arguing golf with Birgit? Not me, because I am a fan of Mrs. Lise Gulmann and Mrs. Birgit Peitersen (incomparable, mature ladies who contribute selflessly to the community so that the feeling of belonging in KGK can grow).
100 days after joining KGK, you have one and a half golf elbows, but also a new blood type - V. The special V blood type is distinguished by being mixed with Viking blood (hence the V), which makes you brave the weather and gives you physical discomfort if you don't have to fight the rough, the elements and your completely unreasonable high HcP at least three to four times a week. I've thought about this a lot. What's going on?
Thirteen years ago I also started playing golf. It didn't come to anything because 10 years of municipal politics in Lyngby-Taarbæk Municipality got in the way. The two months at Hørsholm Golf Club cost me (all inclusive) DKK 30,000, and the 100% self-inflicted experience of 'incompleteness' has been with me for 13 years as a reflection of the prejudices we all encounter about golf:
* Golf is time-consuming
* Golf is for old people
* Golf is boring
* The weather in Denmark is not suitable for golf
* Golf is expensive
* The game of golf is impossible to learn
* Golf is unsuitable for people with a temperament
* It's hard to find someone to play with
* The clubs are closed to themselves.
Well, let's take the prejudices one by one – seen through the eyes of a new member.
Golf is time-consuming. Yes. But since when is time-consuming has actually become a curse word. Time has become more valuable than diamonds, and one of the most beautiful things you can give to others, besides genuine attention. With golf you spend time on something as selfish as yourself. Of course, you have to get used to that.
Age. What is age? A poor excuse or lack of vision, if I may be so free. Who hasn't tried to follow Mrs. Birgit Peitersen when she conquers the course with a brisk walk and V-blood in her veins, without any noticeable hesitation for rain and wind. And that day on the par3 course, when I met Axel Emil, whose older sister was fighting elite out on the back 9. Axel Emil wasn't 7 years old, he explained to me, but almost 8 years old, and had Marc as his coach. "Me too," I replied, and asked if we should play a round. An hour later it was time for fries in the restaurant.
Whether golf is boring probably depends on the eyes that see it. And on values. If by boring you mean having a 14-antlered stag around your neck while you're swinging your rescue and trots out 961 calories poorer in a fall that puts Flügger to shame, so yeah.
It's too cold. It's too hot. It's too wet. It's too windy. Well. Until you put on an extra layer, or take off a layer, remember your raincoat (it happens surprisingly quickly), and learn to spell wind-æ-t.
Golf is not cheap to start with. But from there it is permissible to put things into perspective. You start with a trip to Den Blå Avis, where you can easily get an intact golf set with bag for DKK 1,000. Your old ski jacket just needs to be sprayed with silicone and it will do just fine for a season on the golf course. And then you buy a load of sea balls for DKK 2 each, since you still have to throw away 100 balls before Christmas. Others get to enjoy the lost balls when they themselves exceptionally look for theirs, and in this way the ball economy is almost sustainable. Even the registration fee pays for itself if you think 'economically creatively'. You can save on your fitness subscription because KGK is open in the winter, and you can save on expenses for stress management and self-help courses. I'm not kidding; it says this in Peter Qvortrup Geisling's new book: Nature on prescription. Golfers live longer and thus get more out of their potentially lifelong pension scheme. Finally, you save two glasses of wine every evening, when you have to go out to play golf the next day. Think of what it could add up to if you played every weekend. MAO: Viewed over 'life's 18 holes', golf, calculated with the humanist's calculator, is an income and not an expense.
The argument that golf is (too) hard to learn has to be accepted. It really IS a very difficult sport to learn. But the hardest part is calibrating your ego with reality. And golf is hardly harder to learn than the cello. Few of us end up in the Danish National Radio Symphony Orchestra anyway, even if we start intensive cello lessons at the turn of the year.
Who hasn't stood out in the rough and felt like driving an iron into a mound or on the fairway wondering if it would help to break a club above the knee? Well, no! So I guess golf is for people with temperament – although it has to be handled with grace, which mentors Gulmann and Peitersen fortunately discreetly teach you.
And speaking of these two unique ladies, you actually get someone to play with when you are new to Copenhagen Golf Club. Birgit Peitersen previously led the Monday introductions until Lise Gulmann took over. With their endless and selfless efforts, and if you are also a little vigilant in the yes-hat way, it is possible to relatively quickly get several golf buddies to play with. I doubt that golf clubs are therefore more closed than other (sports) clubs. Rather, it is about human biology – that is, from before anyone thought of golf – and our need to be part of a tribal community. Some people want to open up and see new people – including new members – as new opportunities. As I said, acquaintance can lead to friendship. That is probably where golf clubs are most similar to life.
So let me finish with Jens Hertz, who has been a member of KGK for many years. One day I was standing sweating and practicing my swings out by the sand bunker, when he came by and shouted cheerfully: “Hey Trine. Good thing you've started. You know what they say about the club, right? Now you'll never come out again!”. 